Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, From the Ghost Ship Chronicles, Secondary Characters

8 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

    1. Strong initial paragraphs
    2. Strong initial scene
  • Well-developed characters

 

  1. Action
  2. Conversation
  3. Well written
  4. Appropriately written
  5. No distractors
  6. Language power
  7. Well-developed theme

 

I haven’t run out of examples, but I think that is enough for now. My point was to show you examples of secondary characters who I think help suspend and hold the suspension of reality in a novel. Why secondary characters? We expect the primary characters, protagonist, protagonist’s helper, and antagonist to hold the suspension of reality. We expect these characters to always be in character. If they move out of character, you have a significant problem. On the other hand, the secondary characters also have a significant role to play in holding the suspension of reality. They must be cast in a mold similarly powerful as the primary characters. In my examples, I wanted you to see, the secondary characters’ description, name, title, history, history with the primary character, and overall feel. These characters are not like the red shirted, no first name, Star Trek characters who die in the first minute of the show. Each character must become alive and remain alive in the narrative and conversation that makes up the plot of the novel. Each character adds to the whole and especially to holding the suspension of reality for the reader.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

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Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, From the Ghost Ship Chronicles, another Secondary Character Development Example

7 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

    1. Strong initial paragraphs
    2. Strong initial scene
  • Well-developed characters

 

  1. Action
  2. Conversation
  3. Well written
  4. Appropriately written
  5. No distractors
  6. Language power
  7. Well-developed theme

 

Nikita wants to earn some credits on the ship. She is also training in Shuttle Section. Here she is introduced to her new boss in Shuttle Maintenance. What you don’t get in this scene is the critical attitude of the ship and the students toward those who work forward of cargo and aft of cargo. The forward of cargo are those jobs that are considered of higher quality: command, astrogation, medical and etc. Those aft of cargo are services, merchant, shuttle, engineering, and security. For Nikita to work in Shuttle Section maintenance, she is consorting with about the lowest menial aft of cargo. Here is the scene:

 

At the half-shift of the next watch, Steven Larsen called Nikita back to the Shuttle Section. He invited her directly into one of the briefing rooms so she didn’t have to cross the operations center to his office. Steven sat and pointed to a chair, “Nikita, I want to offer you some cleanup work in maintenance. I’m gong to introduce you to the maintenance supervisor, Master Janice Slate. She has work for you to do every third shift, but the last hour of the shift, we are going to fly the shuttle.”

“You and me?”

“Yeap, you and me, and I won’t charge you for shuttle training?”

“Why not? Aren’t you supposed to?”

“You aren’t an official trainee. You don’t get a training stipend, but I can give as many fam, that is familiarization, rides as I want. Nothing says I can’t give training during a fam ride.”

“Thanks, Master Larsen.” Her face was exultant, “I’d love that.”

“Okay, we start you today. You report to maintenance at the half-shift for third shift. Before the last hour of the shift you meet me here for a briefing.”

Nikita grinned.

“Come on, I need to introduce you to Master Slate.”

Master Slate was a tall dark haired woman with an athletic body and a very precise method of speaking and moving. Her shipsuit was almost pure white. She stepped right up to Nikita, “So you are Nikita Protania, and you want to work in shuttle maintenance.”

“Yes, please.”

Master Slate smiled, “I need a little grease monkey like you.”

“A grease monkey?”

“Yeah, a real grease monkey.”

“What do I do?”

Master Slate glanced up, “I’ll take care of her Steven. She’s mine now.”

Steven cautioned Master Slate, “Remember she has to leave before the last hour for briefing.”

“Are you really training her in shuttle, Master Larsen?”

Steven colored, “She can already fly a shuttle…yeah, I’m training her.”

“How can she reach the pedals?”

“Well,” Nikita frowned, “I can’t really push them all the way, but I can get my copilot to do it when I need to.”

Master Slate frowned down at her, “That’s no good… come on. I’ll show you shuttle maintenance.”

Master Slate led Nikita into a large hangar-like room. It was the main maintenance bay that connected to two of the shuttle docks. Two of the walls were enormous airlocks that opened directly into the shuttle docks. Tools, test stands, and test consoles ringed the area that was not in front of the doors. The walls, floor, and ceiling of the room were completely white. There wasn’t a stain on the floor and everything sparkled.

Master Slate opened her arms, “This is my office. I have a crew, but they’re on lunch break right now.” The Master led Nikita over to the break room and opened the pressure door. Inside sat three men and two women dressed in clean, but stained white shipsuits. Master Slate called inside, “Hey guys, this is Nikita. She’s our new grease monkey. I’m going to show her the work, but if you need her, call for her. She’s working the second half of the third shift.”

Everyone raised their hand, “Hi, Nikita.”

Nikita is making friends across the stratum of the ship. She works forward and aft of cargo. She works in maintenance, and she works as a shuttle pilot. If you know anything about pilots and maintenance, there is always some degree of competition. Nikita works and plays with everyone. This is one of the fun parts of the tension and release in this novel. Since Nikita is from outside the ship, she can move around within the class structure of the ship. I try to present it as a microcosm of a human society. There is more I can show you.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

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Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, From the Ghost Ship Chronicles, a Secondary Character Development Example

6 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

    1. Strong initial paragraphs
    2. Strong initial scene
  • Well-developed characters

 

  1. Action
  2. Conversation
  3. Well written
  4. Appropriately written
  5. No distractors
  6. Language power
  7. Well-developed theme

 

Kids and friends or not friends are always fun secondary characters. Alex becomes an important secondary character in this novel and the next. His introduction isn’t the most hopeful situation for Nikita, but this is a means of creating tension and release in the novel. Here is the scene:

 

“What isn’t a game?” the voice was new to Nikita. A very tall and broad shouldered boy stood at one end of the table. His hair was blond and his eyes were blue. He was much lighter skinned than most of the kids in the triple—as if his space tan didn’t fully take. He was the biggest boy in the triple. He continued as though her didn’t expect an answer, “Who had the gourmet lunch?”

Alaina answered for the group, “It’s none of your business, Alex.”

“I’ll bet it was the new girl. She’s the skinniest kid I’ve ever seen.”

“She’s malnourished, Alex.”

“Malnourished? How can the Captain’s kid be malnourished?”

Nikita tried to wish herself under the table, but Alaina wasn’t about to let it drop, “Think about it Alex, the Captain and First Officer are too young to have a twelve year old daughter; they adopted her.”

“Adopted her?” By this time a lot of children were crowding around the table. Luckily they were on the other side away from Nikita—she still had options.

Gigi’s loud voice overcame everyone else’s, “Yeah, she was adopted from El Rashad.”

Alex twisted his lips into a half smile, half grimace, “That means she’s a dirt eater.”

All the kids let out a low groan. Alaina shook her head, “That wasn’t very nice, Alex. That wasn’t very nice at all.”

“It’s true. Look at her. Why’s she got those red spots around her ears and neck? Is she sick or something? She looks just like a dirt eater.”

Everyone turned to Nikita as though they expected some explanation.

Nikita stammered, “I had bugs and parasites…”

“Bugs and parasites,” Alex mocked her, “She means cooties, real cooties.”

The girls around the table moved a little away from her. Nichol worried aloud, “I ate after her. Maybe I’ll get sick.”

Alaina stated loudly, “You won’t get sick. She isn’t sick or they would never allow her in school. She was treated, just like they have to treat us when we come back from planetside. She isn’t a dirt eater anymore. Are Gigi and I dirt eaters because we lived on Lojirne? She’s a Family Trader and she’s the Captain’s daughter.”

The kids backed a way from her anyway. Alaina intentionally moved a little closer to Nikita, “Nikita is my friend.”

Alex wrinkled his nose, “You’re just a suck up, that’s all.” He started to move away. Eventually the rest of the kids left them. They murmured and whispered as they went.

“Well, that sucked,” Gigi exclaimed.

“Yeah, it sucked,” Nikita pronounced under her breath. She looked up at the girls, “Look, if you are worried about getting sick from me, I don’t have to be in your club. I never had any friends before. I don’t have to have any now.”

Gigi reached out to her, “I’m still your friend. Alex is the class bully. He’s mean to everyone.”

Alaina pursed her lips, “I’m your friend, and I won’t take back my invitation.”

Nichol stammered a little, “I’ll still be your friend. You’re sure I won’t get something?”

“I’m sure,” Nikita smiled.

Signa made a sad face, “Nobody understands what I can do, Nikita. I need as many friends as I can get too.”

“Thanks,” was all Nikita could say.

I’ll remind you, Nikita has never had any friends before. This is all new to her. She has had enemies. She used to live on the streets of Carnival on El Rashad. She is one tough person. She is dangerous, and she is not exactly fully stable. If Alex understood this, he wouldn’t cause her such grief. Notice that Nikita is also very wise. She doesn’t seek problems or confrontation—that is also from her life training. We will find that Alex has more problems than Nikita—they just aren’t spelled out here. At the moment, he just isn’t a very pleasant young man. We will find that he does have redeeming characteristics.  There is more I can show you.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, yet another Secondary Character Development Example

5 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

    1. Strong initial paragraphs
    2. Strong initial scene
  • Well-developed characters

 

  1. Action
  2. Conversation
  3. Well written
  4. Appropriately written
  5. No distractors
  6. Language power
  7. Well-developed theme

 

Here is Nikita’s first opportunity to make friends in her class. I thought this would be a fun and entertaining scene. Notice, the scene is about revealing Nikita. It does speak to the telic flaw. It does drive to the climax. The characters who we meet have names, titles, histories (which they tell you), and get immediately into Nikita’s life and history. Here is the scene:

 

Behind her, the ceriplast windows gave the appearance of a rock cliff. Everything blended to give the simulation of an open world and not an artificial one inside a spaceship. But it wasn’t that artificial. The grass and plants were real. She stretched out a probe and didn’t feel any large or small mammals. She did note insects flying at the edge of the forest. She hoped there weren’t any shinobi flies. While she stood there, a couple of the girls from her class came up to her. One was the girl Master Polar mentioned who sat close to Nikita, Alaina, and the other was a younger girl who looked very much like her. Alaina had brown hair that was long and put up in a single braid. She was much taller than Nikita and bigger, but she wasn’t fat, she was slender like most of the Family Traders. The other girl looked like a smaller version of Alaina; they were even dressed in similar shipsuits. Alaina stepped right up to her, “Hi, you’re Nikita, right?”

Nikita nodded.

“I’m Alaina Dacre and this is my sister, Gigi.”

Gigi smiled, “My real name is Georgette, but I like Gigi better.”

Alaina asked, “Is your dad really the Captain and your mom the First Officer?”

“Well,” Nikita looked at her feet, “My father is supposed to be Den Protania and my mother is supposed to be Natana Protania.”

Gigi stared at her sister, “That’s it then. She’s the Captain and First Officer’s kid.”

Alaina twisted her mouth, “What do you mean supposed to be?”

“They told me I was.”

Gigi and Alaina turned a puzzled look on Nikita.

Alaina stared for a moment, “Just how old are you?”

“Dieter said I was twelve—Natana told me.”

“Wow, twelve,” Gigi stood straight, “I’m taller than you and I’m eleven.”

Alaina frowned a little, “You better not let Master Polar hear you call the ship’s doctor or the First Officer by their first names.”

“Why not,” Nikita glanced up.

“Master Polar is a stickler for such things. It’s Doctor Larsen and First Officer Protania—I guess you could say mom or mother and that would be all right. Wait, you’re twelve and our First Officer is nineteen. Wow, you can’t be…”

Gigi made a face just like Alaina had a moment before, “Our Captain’s only twenty-two.”

Nikita stared at them, “How do you know their ages? And why?”

“It’s in all the ship’s history holos. Haven’t you seen them?”

“No, not yet.”

“Aren’t you from the Regia…or the Lamb?”

“What’s the Lamb?”

Gigi had just studied this subject less than a seven-day ago, “The Lamb is the Twilight Lamb. That’s the ship that sponsored this one. Our Captain and First Officer were great heroes on that ship, and they were put in charge of our ship. I think they are so wonderful. Our First Officer was the youngest Master in the history of the fleet.”

Alaina wasn’t to be outdone, “And our Captain is a Master in three fields. No one has ever accomplished that before.”

Gigi continued, “I read they were both studying in Security on the Lamb too before they came to the Regia.”

“So…, Nikita,” Alaina resumed expectantly, “We didn’t come from the Lamb either. Our mother and father were born on the Family Trader, Shadowed Vale, but it was overcrowded. We were born on Lojirne while our parents waited for a new berth. Our mother is Doctor Dacre…”

“She’s a journeyman,” Gigi interjected.

“Our father is a journeyman in Engineering. So, what ship did you come from?”

“I didn’t come from a ship.”

“Really?” both Alaina and Gigi were all ears.

“I came from El Rashad.”

“No way.”

“But I did.”

“I believe you, but that is so exciting. That means you are adopted. I’ve never met someone who was adopted before. That means you are very special.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Gigi took a step forward, “The only way to get accepted onto a ship from outside of the Family is by test and trial or by adoption. Test and trial is very difficult, but adoption means you are so special, no one could question your skill.”

“What’s your year level, anyway?” Alaina asked.

“Master Polar said I was thirteenth year.”

Gigi and Alaina glanced at one another, “Adopted, thirteenth year, Master Polar said you could help others in the class. You’re kind of small—put it all together.”

“Yeah,” Gigi giggled, “That means you are one of the specials and you can be part of our club.”

“What’s a special and what’s your club?”

Alaina put her finger on her nose, “We aren’t supposed to know, but Gigi hacked into the school’s computer system last year.”

“Yeah,” the smaller girl whispered, “that’s why I’m a special.”

“The records for most of the kids in our triple say they are specials and even lists why. We asked a few of the girls to join—no boys in our club. You have to be a special, and you have to be well, special.”

“Do you think I’m a special?”

“You’re the Captain’s and First Officer’s daughter and you are adopted—that’s plenty special.” Alaina put her fists on her hips and glanced knowingly at her sister again.

“I can be in your club?”

“Yeah,” Gigi cried.

Nikita drew the back of her hand over her eyes, “Thanks.”

Alaina frowned, “Wow, we didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“I’m not sad. I just never had any friends before—except one.”

“Never?”

Nikita shook her head. “Why are you a special, Alaina?”

“I have this thing for medical science. Sometimes, Doctor Larsen lets me work in the sickbay. I’m really good at diagnostics and stuff. I want to be a Ship’s Doctor like my mom.”

A tone rang out over the recreation area.

Gigi and Alaina gestured toward Nikita, “Come on, recess is over.”

The three girls cycled through the lock together.

Nikita has never had any friends before. She has been alone and isolated her entire life. As I mentioned, we learn about Alaina and Gigi’s history. We also learn about the history of the ship and Nikita’s adopted parents. All this is important information to the reader. What makes it fun is that it is information from the hearts and minds of young people. I hate to write children, they are a little older than that. There is more I can show you.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, and still another Secondary Character Development Example

4 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

    1. Strong initial paragraphs
    2. Strong initial scene
  • Well-developed characters

 

  1. Action
  2. Conversation
  3. Well written
  4. Appropriately written
  5. No distractors
  6. Language power
  7. Well-developed theme

 

Here is another example of a secondary character. This is a very important secondary character for Nikita. This is also an example of how to develop pathos in a character and a scene. In this case, the pathos is from both sides. First, Nikita is training a woman much older than she is. You can see in the scene that Candice has a problem with Nikita. Really, who wouldn’t. We expect our youngers and smallers to be less capable than we are. Nikita has proven herself more than once and now she must again. Here is the scene:

 

As soon as her stint in shuttle maintenance was over, Nikita ran to the briefing room Candice had reserved for the fight mission briefing. At the beginning of the third shift, Nikita had already sent the whole mission profile to Candice. Nikita entered into the briefing room. Candice stood at the front and worked with the large mounted screensheet. Candice was tall and dark haired. She overtopped Nikita by almost half a meter. She as a beautiful woman and wore her shipsuit well. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail. Candice turned around momentarily when Nikita entered, “Beat it kid, I scheduled this briefing room already.”

“Sorry, Apprentice Dirk, but I think I belong here.”

“Really? Well, who do you think you are?”

“I’m Nikita Protania.”

Candice turned completely around and stared at Nikita. Her voice rose, “It can’t be…you are my instructor?” Candice pulled out her tablet computer and made a couple of swipes over it, “No way, I thought it was the Captain. It just said Protania. Instead it’s the Captain’s brat. You can’t be my instructor—you’re not even an apprentice.”

“I dunno, Candice. Master Larsen told me you were my student.”

“Look it can’t be, brat. You’re not even, what, nine?”

“I’m twelve.”

Candice laughed, “Okay, twelve. I bet you don’t have a trace of peachfuzz and you’re still wearing strawberry panties.”

“What’s that got to do with it?” Nikita blushed.

Candice’s eye twitched, “How are we going to debrief in the section bar—you won’t be allowed inside.”

Master Larsen stepped through the door, “Hi Candy. I see you already met Nikita.”

“Yeah, I met her already—this is a joke right?”

“What is?”

“How can she be my instructor? She’s not even an apprentice. What can a snot nosed twelve year old teach me about anything?”

Master Larsen’s face was bland. He sat on the edge of the table, “Well, I thought we would have to work this out. I didn’t think you would be so acrimonious about it, Candy.”

Candice’s scowl didn’t change.

“I’ll explain it very distinctly to you. Candy, Nikita is one of the best shuttle pilots I have ever trained. You may not know what this means yet, but she is one of the only pilots on this ship who can fly the Fujin incident to a survival outcome. She is young, but she has already been under instructor training for months. I have complete confidence in her ability. She will be your instructor no matter what. I expect you to listen to her and learn from her. If you can’t, I don’t want you in shuttle section.”

“But I want to be a shuttle pilot…”

“Look, Candy, I’ll be supervising Nikita’s instruction. If you listen to her, you will be a better pilot than most. Can I be any clearer?”

“But…”

“No, buts, Candy. Either Nikita is your instructor or you apply to another section.”

Candice stared at Master Larsen then at Nikita, “Okay. I don’t understand it. I don’t like it, but I’ll put up with it.”

Master Larsen gave a little laugh.

Candice stared at Nikita, “Just what do I call you, kid? You don’t have any title…”

Master Larsen scratched his head, “I hadn’t thought of that. You may call her instructor or IP. That will be her official title until she enters the system formally.”

“What about my training; will it be official?”

“Of course. I’ll be supervising the entire time.”

Candice shook her head. Her scowl still didn’t lighten. She turned to Nikita, “Okay, IP. What do you want me to do?”

“Then, are you ready to train?” Nikita was all smiles.

The kicker in this scene occurs later. Candice can’t keep up and fails her flight training. Nikita and Candice have a great row. Master Larsen puts down the boom—Candice has to get her stuff together and so does Nikita. If they don’t, they are out of training. This weighs on Nikita and on Candice. We see over many scenes the change and work of both to mend the situation and to improve their mutual performance. When they succeed…well that’s another exciting scene. My point is this: characters, especially secondary characters are critical to the revelation of the protagonist. This is their purpose. The power of the revelation is the power of the character and the situation the author puts them in.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

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Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, still another Secondary Character Development Example

3 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

    1. Strong initial paragraphs
    2. Strong initial scene
  • Well-developed characters

 

  1. Action
  2. Conversation
  3. Well written
  4. Appropriately written
  5. No distractors
  6. Language power
  7. Well-developed theme

 

I am really enjoying this—I hope you are. This is the introduction of Mary Polar to Nikita. I’ll remind you, Nikita is the protagonist of my Ghost Ship Chronicle novel Regia Anglorum. The name comes from their ship, by the way. Mary Polar is to be Nikita’s teacher. She was also Natana’s teacher. Natana is not that old—almost twenty. Nikita is twelve. The point, again, is how Mary Polar reveals Nikita’s character. Like the other characters I showed you, she has a name, a title, a position, a history, and a place in the ship and time. Here is the scene:

 

They exited the office and picked up Nikita then walked down to Mary Polar’s classroom. When they entered, Master Polar was still at her desk working with her tablet computer. Nikita took a step inside, and she made an ‘ah’ sound. The walls were covered by large pieces of screenpage. The children had obviously made art projects using the screenpages and their computers. The screenpages flashed a new picture or essay or painting every few minutes and the effect was captivating. One side of the room was clear ceriplast and opened into the ship’s wilderness recreational area. The artificial sunlight blazed through the windows. Nikita could see playing fields. On the other side of the room, an airlock led into the wilderness area and showed just how the children could get from the classroom directly into their play areas. Bright artwork on other screenpages, molded sculptures, ship models, mathematical shapes, buildings, and all kinds of other manipulatives covered the many shelves. Nikita had to run look at everything. She couldn’t stop herself. The models and pictures were wonderful to her.

Oddly, without Nikita noticing, Master Polar stepped right behind her, “Hello, Nikita, would you like to make something like that?”

Nikita didn’t turn around, “Yeah…” Finally, Nikita took a deep breath and turned around. She stared at the woman who faced her. Master Mary Polar was the Services Master. That meant she was in charge of all the services on the ship: food preparation, shops, cleaning, recreation, overall training, chapel, and housing. She looked like a mother. Not your dowdy idea of someone who toiled away in the kitchen or ran after kids—no, she was any child’s idea of a perfect mother. She was lovely: dark haired, tall and shapely. She looked like she could keep up with any kid. She looked smart and fun. She was the teacher every boy child would fall in love with, and every girl child wished she could grow up to be like. She loved children and she understood children. The simple fact that she was one of the most competent Master of Services in the fleet was nothing compared to her desire and ability to teach children.

Master Polar put out her hand, “Hello, Nikita, welcome to your classroom.”

Without thinking, Nikita gently touched Master Polar’s palm and pulled back her hand, “…my classroom?”

“Yes, you have been assigned to my triple.”

“What’s a triple?”

Master Polar chuckled, “Come sit with me to our study circle, and I’ll tell you all about it.” She looked up, “Your mother and Master Shear may come too. Hi, Natana, Beth.” The women acknowledged her.

Nikita glanced at Natana and then back at Master Polar, “I don’t have a mother.”

“Sure you do. Didn’t you know? Natana adopted you.”

Nikita didn’t know what to say, “I didn’t realize. I thought she was my sister.”

“Come on over here.”

They all sat in the study circle. Natana was slightly blushing. Something Master Polar didn’t miss. Nikita stared at Natana strangely.

Mater Polar ignored both of their reactions, “Nikita, my triple is for girls and boys in the eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth year of study—that’s our classification for approximate age of maturity. We have just five students in each year. You will be my fifth student in the thirteenth year. Now, each of my students get different training, so your assignments, many times will be entirely different than that of the other children, even in your year.”

Nikita stared imploringly at her, “Do I get to make something like that?” She pointed at a detailed three dimensional model.

“Oh, you will get to make these things and many, many, more. Your parents might get tired of you bringing them home.”

Nikita took a surreptitious glance at Natana, who colored again.

“Now, we meet for the second shift every ship’s day. I’ve sent instructions to your computer address and your parents’ computer. You may bring a lunch or order one here. I understand you have a special diet prescribed by the ship’s doctor. Is there anything else I need to know?”

Nikita shook her head and Natana did too.

“You will need an athletic shipsuit and a change of clothing. The clothing restrictions are listed in the instructions. Make sure you and your parents read our rules and understand them. Will you do that?”

Nikita and Natana nodded.

“Good. Then come during the next second shift, and we’ll start training together. By the way, did you know I was your mother’s teacher too?”

Nikita stared and shook her head.

“She was in this triple, not that many years ago. She can tell you all the rules and how not to get in trouble.”

“Did she get into trouble?”

“We don’t share secrets like that, Nikita—do we?”

Nikita suddenly warmed even more toward Master Polar.

Master Polar stood up, “I’ll see you next second shift. Don’t forget your computer.”

They stood and started to leave the room. Before she crossed the threshold, Nikita called back, “Do you know, Chaplain Polar, my priest?”

Master Polar smiled, “Of course I do, Nikita. He’s my husband.”

Nikita stopped in her tracks dumbfounded, “He’s your husband. That means he lives with you and everything?”

Master Polar laughed out loud, “And everything.” She waved at Natana, “Don’t worry, this is the preadolescent triple—I get those kinds of questions all the time. In just the same tone. I understand just what she means—I think.”

Natana bit her lip. She wasn’t sure that Master Polar understood at all, but she didn’t say anything.

Nikita slowly caught up with them, and after they left Master Shear, Natana and Nikita headed back to their cabin.

I love this scene. I love it because I got to describe what I thought a Family Trader school classroom would look like. I love the idea of how they would teach children—matching the child to adults who mentor and develop them. That’s a little further ahead. Perhaps I should show you some of that next. As I wrote, this is really fun to me. I’d like to write more novels like this. By showing the education system, I’m not showing you how I think an education system should work, I’m showing you from my imagination how I think this culture would build their schools. I’m not trying to convince you of anything, I’m trying to entertain you and provide you a realistic setting based on the culture and society I developed for your entertainment.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writing—Inspiration: Rhetoric, How can We Suspend Reality, another Secondary Character Development, Example

2 December 2016, this blog is about writing in scenes.  I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes.  I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist.  I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

  1. The initial scene
  2. The rising action
  3. The Climax
  4. The falling action
  5. The dénouement

Announcement:   Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy.  Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness.  If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try.  You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back on the tarmac at Wichita.

Here are my rules of writing:

  1. Entertain your readers.
  2. Don’t confuse your readers.
  3. Ground your readers in the writing.
  4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

  1. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

 

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect).  Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

  1. Scene input (easy)
  2. Scene output (a little harder)
  3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
  4. Creativity (creative elements of the scene)
  5. Tension (development of creative elements to build excitement)
  6. Release (climax of creative elements)

 

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

 

Suspension of reality requires the following:

 

  1. Strong initial paragraphs
  2. Strong initial scene
  3. Well-developed characters
  4. Action
  5. Conversation
  6. Well written
  7. Appropriately written
  8. No distractors
  9. Language power
  10. Well-developed theme

 

Here is the development of a secondary/tertiary character–that is, Beth Shear. Beth is the Education Master in the third novel of this series (the Ghost Ship Chronicles: Regia Anglorum). Notice, she has a name, a title, a pedigree, a history with Natana, and soon a history with Nikita. She is just meeting Nikita and becoming reacquainted with Natana. Her interaction with both further develops her character—that’s the point of this example. Just take a look—I gave you part of the scene:

 

Natana and Nikita entered the Master’s office. There they found a slightly rotund woman who looked very competent, but very kind. Natana liked her right away. She should have known her name, but she didn’t remember until the woman said it. Natana held out her hand, “Hello, I’m Natana Protania.”

The woman laughed, “Hi Natana. You don’t remember me, do you? I was your Training Master on the Twilight Lamb. It hasn’t been that long, but I’ll remind you. I’m Beth Shear, Elizabeth’s mom.” She laughed again, “Elizabeth and I really do have the same name.”

Natana mumbled something, then clearly she stated, “Well, Master Shear…”

“Beth to you, dear. You are the First Office, now.”

“Beth…I would like to introduce, Nikita Protania.” Nikita stepped forward. She didn’t say anything.

“Protania?”

“Yes, she is part of our family.”

“The Captain’s family…”

“Yes, she is from El Rashad and hasn’t had any formal training.”

“Oh…,” Master Shear drew out the word, “I think I understand.”

“Right.”

Nikita pronounced,I don’t understand anything.”

Natana frowned at her, but changed her expression quickly.

Master Shear came around the desk, “Yes, the first step is always the tests.”

“Tests? Like exams. Do I get to take the apprentice exams?” cried Nikita.

“No, dear. You get to take our placement tests so we can find which class is right for you. I haven’t had to use them in so long. We’ll just use a random battery from all our grade level tests, and see how you do.”

Master Shear led Nikita to a study room and set up the tests. The Training Master gave Nikita instructions, and Natana added her own encouragement. Then the adults returned to Master Shear’s office. Master Shear waved at the chair in front of her desk, “Have a seat Natana.” She sat behind her desk, “Let me get us some coffee and a snack. It will take Nikita a while to get through the exam I gave her.”

When they both had coffees and a sweet roll in their hands, Master Shear started, “Really, Natana, she looks like she hasn’t had anything to eat in a long time.”

“Nikita?”

“Who else would I mean?”

“I’ve kind of gotten used to it. She’s malnourished.”

“Brain function?”

“Tip top.”

“The tests will tell us something of that. She’s psyonic?”

“Yes, how could you tell?”

“Because you are doting on her, dear. That’s why you brought her to the ship and adopted her. You and Den are a little young for parents of a girl that age. How old is she anyway?”

“Dieter says twelve standard but eight or nine by physical maturation.”

“Ah, due to malnutrition.”

“Yes.”

“She really is small and light weight. If she tests high we’ll have a problem, and if she tests low we’ll have a problem.”

“Why’s that?”

“She’s so small that if she tests high, all the children will be much larger than she is. If she tests low, she’ll be among children much less mature than she is.”

Natana pushed her hair away from her face, “Under those criteria, I don’t see much scope for her.”

Master Shear smiled, “Don’t worry dear. I’ve already thought it through and I think I know what to do with her in any case.”

“That’s good. Will you tell me?”

“Not until I get the test results back. I want to hear directly from you about the taking of the Regia. Could you enlighten me?” They spent a few hours in conversation about the Twilight Lamb and their new ship.

Well before Master Shear expected her, Nikita knocked on the office door. Master Shear stood and went to open the door before Natana could get to it. When she opened it, there stood Nikita, “Hello, Nikita Protania, did you have a question. Are you having a problem with the test?”

“No, Master Shear, I’m finished with it.”

“Finished with it?” Master Shear chuckled. “That was quick. Well then let’s see how you did. Take a seat beside Natana. There you go.”

Master Shear sat in her chair and activated the privacy screen in front of her monitor. She punched keys on her computer and made notations on the screen. After a little while, she leaned back and turned around, “Nikita, could I ask you to take a seat on the bench outside my office. I wish to speak to your, ah, guardian alone.”

Nikita glanced at Natana and cocked her head. Natana made a gesture and Nikita went out the door and shut it.

Master Shear leaned across her desk toward Natana, “Can she read us?”

“If she wants.” “Tell her not to.”

Natana did. She gazed at Master Shear, “Mast…Beth, did she bomb it that badly?”

“No, you’ve got to be kidding. She almost maxed it out.”

“Maxed it out?”

“She scored almost perfectly except on the historical section and a few questions here and there. Pretty amazing. You don’t think she could be using psy to answer the questions somehow?”

Natana shook her head, “She didn’t get them all right. She learned everything she knows by reading papers—there isn’t a lot of history in newspapers. She is a synthesist…”

“It’s true, she did miss a few. Still…”

“I don’t think she is ready for the apprentice exams…you know in maturity.”

“Exactly. That’s why I have the perfect solution for now.”

“You planned this already.”

“Told you I did. The moment I saw her. The test just confirms it for me.”

“Well, where will you place her?”

“I have a triple of specials taught by Mary Polar.”

“Mary Polar!”

“Yes, your old teacher. It’s the same triple you were in.”

“But Mary is the Master of Services on this ship.”

“That may be true, but she taught the second shift triple class on the Twilight Lamb for over fifteen years. I expect her to be teaching the class on the Regia longer than that.”

“But then she wasn’t the Master of Services on the Lamb.”

Master Shear slitted her eyes, “Are you going to tell your Master of Services that, or is the Captain?”

“Oh, Beth.”

“Don’t, oh Beth me. She is one of our best teachers. You should know, Natana.”

“I do know.”

“She’ll be perfect for Nikita. Just as she was for you. Her triple includes years eleven through thirteen. They are all specials.”

“Specials?”

Master Shear stared at Natana with incredulity, “Oh, sorry, I forgot, you haven’t been to the early school briefings. You haven’t started a child in the ship school yet. If you had, you would know that certain children, for many reasons, are labeled specials. They might be very bright or very skilled. They might have some specific disabilities or peculiarities—or all of these. You were a special, Natana.”

“Really? I didn’t know.”

“Good, that means our system is working very well. We don’t tell them. You were a special because of your mathematic skills, genius, and of course psy. We knew you were going to be an astrogator and a psychologist. Your training was designed by Master Polar to prepare you for those roles.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Nikita is obviously a special. What do you think she will need preparation in?”

“You might as well train her like you did me. I think those may be her skills too.”

“Now, tell me about her. Issues? Problems? Medical?”

I gave you a longer part than I needed because I wanted you to catch the nuance and power in the introduction and development of this secondary character. In this scene, through the conversation, you learn about Beth Shear, you learn about Natana, you learn about Nikita, and you learn about the way the Family Traders educate their children. That is the major point. I am showing you how the Family Traders educate in their school system. I am not trying to make a judgement or determination or present a school system in the sense of a theme or concept—I am simply showing you the school system the Family Traders use. I thought this would be the type of system that would fit for the Family Traders and their environment. The conversation shows you about it. The secondary character Beth Shear reveals it to you. In addition to helping reveal Nikita and Natana, Beth helps the reader see the details of the Family Trader schools. Soon Nikita will be experiencing that school system. She will experience it on another ship as well. This is a powerful means of developing and using a character.

 

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor.com

www.aseasonofhonor.com

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment