Writing—So You Want to be a Writer, New Novel, Initial Scene, Setting Description, more Example

27 March 2024, this blog is about writing in scenes. I’m focusing on the tools to build scenes. I’ll leave up the parts of a novel because I think this is an important picture for any novelist. I’m writing about how to begin and write a novel.

The initial scene
The rising action scenes
The climax scene
The falling action scene(s)
The dénouement scene(s)

Announcement: I need a new publisher. Ancient Light has been delayed due to the economy, and it may not be published. Ancient Light includes Aegypt, Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness. If you are interested in historical/suspense literature, please give my novels a try. You can read about them at http://www.ancientlight.com.  I’ll keep you updated.

Today’s Blog: The skill of using language comes from the ability to put together figures of speech that act as symbols in writing.

Short digression: Back in the USA. I didn’t update you on all my travels, but I basically went all through Italy and Greece as well as a sidetrack to Malta. I’m back.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.

2. Don’t confuse your readers.

3. Ground your readers in the writing.

4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.

4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.

5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

6. The initial scene is the most important scene.

Creativity is the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the intellect). Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.

Scene development:

Here is the beginning of the scene development method from the outline:

1. Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)

2. Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)

3. Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and develop the tension and release.

4. Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.

5. Write the release

6. Write the kicker

First step of writing—enjoy writing. Writing is a chore—especially if you don’t know what you are doing, and you don’t know where you are going. Let me help you with that.

Today:

These are the three novels I’m contemplating writing. I finished Seoirse, and I developed these protagonists and the protagonist’s helpers for the other novels.

For novel 33, Book girl: Siobhàn Shaw is Morven McLean’s savior—they are both attending Kilgraston School in Scotland when Morven loses everything, her wealth, position, and friends, and Siobhàn Shaw is the only one left to befriend and help her discover the one thing that might save Morven’s family and existence.

For novel 34: Seoirse is assigned to be Rose’s protector and helper at Monmouth while Rose deals with five goddesses and schoolwork; unfortunately Seoirse has fallen in love with Rose.

For novel 35: Eoghan, a Scottish National Park Authority Ranger, while handing a supernatural problem in Loch Lomond and The Trossachs National Park discovers the crypt of Aine and accidentally releases her into the world; Eoghan wants more from the world and Aine desires a new life and perhaps love.

The first or initial scene is what we work hard to start out our novels.

A scene always starts with the setting elements. Look at the scene development outline:

1. Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)

2. Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)

3. Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and develop the tension and release.

4. Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.

5. Write the release

6. Write the kicker

If you notice, the first thing we write is the scene setting. You can continue setting development through the scene, but every scene should start with the setting. You must set the stage of the novel with the scene setting.

In the first place, without setting elements, you can’t write anything. You must introduce setting elements to be able to have action and dialog. The setting elements usually come out of narration of some type.

Every creative element should also be a plot element. If they are not, you should not make them a creative element.

This means the plots must further the telic flaw resolution and nothing else. A plot element can become a telic resolution element. However, I should write, a plot element should always become a telic resolution element.

I’ve never put this completely together before. Here’s a chronological list of my novels:

The Second Mission (399 to 400 BC)

Centurion (6 BC to 33 AD)

Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon 1917 – 1918 (1920)

Aegypt 1926

Sister of Light 1926 – 1934

Sister of Darkness 1939 – 1945

Shadow of Darkness 1945 – 1953

Shadow of Light 1953 – 1956

Antebellum 1965 (1860 to 1865)

Children of Light and Darkness 1970 – 1971

Warrior of Light 1974 – 1976

Warrior of Darkness 1980 – 1981

Deirdre: Enchantment and the School 1992 – 1993

Cassandra: Enchantment and the Warriors 1993 – 1994

Hestia: Enchantment of the Hearth 2000 – 2001

Essie: Enchantment and the Aos Si 2002 – 2005

Khione: Enchantment and the Fox 2003 – 2004

Blue Rose: Enchantment and the Detective 2008 – 2009

Dana-ana: Enchantment and the Maiden 2009 – 2010

Valeska: Enchantment and the Vampire 2014 – 2015

Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer 2014 – 2015

September 2022 – death of Elizabeth

Sorcha: Enchantment and the Curse 2025 – 2026

2026 death of Mrs. Calloway

Rose: Enchantment and the Flower January to April 2028

Seoirse: Enchantment and the Assignment August to November 2028

science fiction

The End of Honor

The Fox’s Honor

A Season of Honor

Athelstan Cying

Twilight Lamb

Regia Anglorum

Shadowed Vale

Ddraig Goch – not completed

What’s the point? I just wanted to list all my novels in chronological order. I’m not sure where I’m going from this, but I thought it was a fun idea. I didn’t put in the dates of the science fiction because although it is possible to figure them out, they are pretty esoteric. All the other novels are connected in history and time.

I’ve developed the protagonist and the focus of the novel. I’ve been through the plots and all the basics of the scene development and what I’d generally like to include in this novel, Aine. I’m not really ready to start writing because I’m supposed to be focusing myself on getting a new publisher or an agent—I’m going for an agent at this time. To me, writing is easy, the getting a publisher or an agent is the hard part. And, I have 32 novels to sell, oh well.

I’m cleaning up the breadcrumbs from the development of Aine. If you notice, I’ve already written novel 34. I also wrote that I have 32 completed novels. I’m missing two—nope, not at all. My numbering scheme just has two incomplete novels that I still intend to finish, but that I haven’t been writing on for a while. I usually complete a novel before moving on, but I didn’t finish those two. They have great potential, but my interest waned a little and I lost my focus. I never had writer’s block. Ha ha.

That was my point before. You can’t have writer’s block if you are imagining your storyline and plots first and then using your creativity to write the story next. It is impossible to have problems with ideas—you can however, have problems with the writing itself. This is a real problem and one specifically of skill and practice. That’s something I should go over again. I’m not sure where to start, but perhaps I should start with the most basic part of writing—the sentence and then move to the paragraph.

I don’t intend to go over every individual part of speech and of writing, but I do intend to hit the most important parts for the writer and for writing novels. So, get ready. We are moving to the sentence.

If you don’t understand grammar and the sentence, then this is something you need to really get down. If English isn’t your first language, then you really need to study it hard. The easy part about writing in English is all you need is the past tense for the narrative and action and the present tense for the dialog. Easy, right?

The problem is that with the present tense and the past tense, there are a whole host of other tenses in English. It ain’t that simple, and the fiction author needs to be aware and actively engaged in the language. As I noted, most of the narrative will be in the past tense, hopefully the third person past tense, while most of the dialog will be in the present tense, much of that will vary between first, second, and third person. And the real problems begin with future tense and the present participle. Yeah yeah yeah, I’m not going to go into all those verb tenses and I’m not going to get into the details of sentence construction except to write this. Here are some really important rules of sentence construction for writers:

Narrative should be past tense.
Dialog should be present tense.
Stay away from passive voice. There are reasons for using passive voice, but there ain’t that many. Use active voice.
When moving into the past you can use the past perfect, but get back into the past tense as quickly as possible. Keep out of the past perfect as much as possible.
Keep it simple. This is especially true of verb constructions and sentence construction.
Don’t write run-ons. Break up sentences for more simplicity.
However, keep it together. The proper use of conjunctions and connected clauses is an indication of writing skill. Too much is bad too little is bad.
Use sentences to indicate action and pace. This is getting into the complexities of writing.
1. Short sentences indicate fast pace and action.
1. Longer sentences indicate less action and slow pace.
1. Short sentences indicate terse writing, and many times incomplete thought.
1. Long sentences indicate boring writing and too much telling.
Show don’t tell.
More dialog is showing—less dialog is telling.
More action is showing—more narrative is telling.

I’m sure there is more, but I’ll end it here and unless I think of something really important about sentences, I’ll move on to paragraphs.

If you can’t write a strong sentence, you can’t write. However, if you can’t write a good paragraph, you definitely can’t write. I think in seventh grade the world of English was all about writing a paragraph. Unfortunately, I don’t think they really taught correctly about how to write a good paragraph. They just had us students write paragraphs. The practice was great, but it could have been so much more. I do think that year of writing paragraphs really helped me as a writer, but at the same time, it could have been much better. I’ll give you the real education.

In the first place, all paragraphs follow the same rule—that is except the dialog paragraph in English. I’ll mention that at the end, but for now realize we are writing about general paragraphs and especially those in actin and narration as opposed to those in dialog. In dialog, the longer thoughts and ideas do still follow these basic rules of the paragraph. Let’s look at paragraph structure.

All paragraphs have this structure:

Topic sentence with a potential transition from the previous paragraph
Body of the paragraph explaining or expanding the topic
Conclusion of the topic and transition to the next paragraph

This is the basic structure of every paragraph. If you follow this, you will know where to start and stop your paragraphs, your writing will be readable and understandable, and your writing will make sense.

When I was learning to write, the biggest problem I had with the paragraph was where to begin and where to end. Most people had a similar problem with the sentence. That’s why so many youthful writers can’t stop their run-ons. If you know the basic rules about the sentence, you will get rid of your run-on problem. If you know the structure of the paragraph, you will fix your paragraph problem. Topic, body, conclusion and transition. That’s it. Each new topic needs a new paragraph. I’ll get to that, next.

With a paragraph, the most important point is to introduce the topic of the paragraph and continue to write until the next topic. Close the paragraph and transition to the next topic. I’ll give an example:

The once Shiggaion Tash, now Shiggy Tash, stepped out of her small and ancient Triumph touring car. She clutched her gold Gucci bag closer to the heavy black Givenchy coat that covered her short blue Zuhair Murad skirt. It was freezing and the short skirt didn’t help much, but that was a necessary inconvenience when she needed constant access to her special, um, gear. She gazed up at the whitewashed brick side of Viera Lodge and shrugged. It was the best The Organization could do on short notice, and in this area.

Actually, the house was remarkably nice for the Scottish Orkney Islands, and especially for tiny Rousay Island in particular. She’d memorized everything about it. It should be very pleasant if all the information she received was correct. The house was newly refurbished around 2024. There was a garage, but she didn’t trust them during operations. Perhaps if she had a second vehicle. She glanced back at the tactically parked Triumph, and mouthed, “Old Scorch, you’ll have to make do with the cold.”

The house was two storied and pretty ancient. She knew it was originally built around 1836. It possessed a section at this side that held the kitchen with a large new bath above. Every external wall of the house was freshly painted white, she had guessed whitewash. In the setting winter sun, it certainly looked like whitewash, at least under the brilliant orange reflection of the sun.

These aren’t that complex in terms of paragraphs, but they should do. Note, the topic of the first paragraph is Shiggy. Here’s the topic sentence: The once Shiggaion Tash, now Shiggy Tash, stepped out of her small and ancient Triumph touring car.

The paragraph continues about Shiggy until we reach the last sentence: She gazed up at the whitewashed brick side of Viera Lodge and shrugged. It was the best The Organization could do on short notice, and in this area.

Notice, this sentence if still about Shiggy, but it transitions to the house. It give us some information about where Shiggy is and where the house is. The next paragraph picks up the topic: Actually, the house was remarkably nice for the Scottish Orkney Islands, and especially for tiny Rousay Island in particular.

This is all about the house and it’s location, but it also reveals information about Shiggy. This continues until the transition. This is an advanced transition that brings in more information, but turns us back to the house: She glanced back at the tactically parked Triumph, and mouthed, “Old Scorch, you’ll have to make do with the cold.”

This is also an example of using dialog and turning to the use of dialog or really the proper grammar of dialog to make a paragraph. The paragraph indeed transitions, but we use the rule of dialog here to force the transition. The transition is real and moves back to the house, but the rule of dialog grammar and punctuation forces us to a paragraph ending. The next paragraph has a topic sentence: The house was two storied and pretty ancient.

We get a paragraph completely about the house and its description from the outside. The transition sentence closes this paragraph and points to the next: In the setting winter sun, it certainly looked like whitewash, at least under the brilliant orange reflection of the sun.

The next paragraph will tell us about the area around the house and the setting for the house. This is how we write paragraphs. We don’t need to get all strict and outliney detailed about them, we just write them and keep them on topic. Where most have problems is when the paragraphs start to get to a full page or they seem too long—they are. Break them up by topic. Make nice transitions. Make it all sound good and fit together. I’ll look at this and at dialog paragraphs next.

Yes, there is much more about paragraphs. The main point is the idea of the topic and the topic sentence. If you can grasp this and keep this on track, you usually can write a good paragraph. At the moment, I want to mention about dialog and the paragraph. This is an important grammar point in English. Once we cover this, we can go back to the basic paragraph and paragraph structure.

In English dialog, each speaker is delineated by a new paragraph. This is a rule of grammar, but it makes sense: the next speaker provides a potential new topic because they are the next speaker. Actually, the topic is immaterial in the case of dialog, at least at this point. What is important in English is to denote the next speaker. Here’s how it looks on paper (eather).

Jane flicked her fingers, “I don’t like it at all.”

John stared her down, “It doesn’t matter what you like or don’t like.”

She squinted at him, “Don’t speak down to me.”

Pretty much the same topic, but each sentence is a new paragraph. That’s just how English grammar works. Now, with that same speaker, when they are speaking and come to a new topic, the rules are a little different. If you break a paragraph in the middle of a dialog, you don’t close the quote, and you start a new paragraph with a quote. Here’s what it looks like:

Dave scratched his nose, “I’m not sure I like this house. It’s dismal, ugly, and too far from town to be of any use to us. I’m not sure I can even get to work on time unless I get up at two in the morning.

“On another note, the car is acting up and I need to get it into the shop.”

This happens rarely, and is a bit of a bother to many readers and writers, but if you need to break the paragraph in the middle of a dialog, you don’t close the quote and then you continue with a new paragraph—the same speaker is still speaking. Actually, a better way to write this, might be:

Dave continued, “On another note, the car is acting up and I need to get it into the shop.”

Either way can be a bit confusing to the reader, but the second is less confusing. Either way is acceptable in English grammar. Back to the paragraph and structure, next.

As I wrote, paragraphs are topical. They have a very specific but very open form. That may be why many people are confused about them, even teachers. When I was a student (a kid) none of the explanations by my teachers about the paragraph resonated with me. I found their explanations to be unusable and not understandable. Today, I think I understand them very well. I come to a full understanding of the paragraph. I don’t remember when this came to be, but I can assure you, it was when I was trying to hack through some fiction and likely a novel. The realization was enormous. If my teachers had taught me then, I might have even been a better writer earlier. Still, I’m happy with my progress, and I’d like no one else to be confused by the idea of the paragraph because the paragraph is fundamental to writing, in general.

Words are the basic elements of writing. Sentences are the basic forms of thought. Paragraphs are the fundamental parts of putting ideas into sentences that are formed by words. The paragraph is the most elemental form of ideas. You can’t write without a grasp of the three. The most important part of paragraphs is that they are the building blocks of the scene. We can almost make an outline of a scene by paragraph. Such a scene would be way too short, but you can do it. The main point is that I want to get us to the point of the scene. The scene is the fundamental and simplest part of a novel. A novel can’t be written without scenes and scenes are the novel. With this review:

All paragraphs have this structure:

Topic sentence with a potential transition from the previous paragraph
Body of the paragraph explaining or expanding the topic
Conclusion of the topic and transition to the next paragraph

We can move to the most important part of any fiction or of the novel: the scene.

As long as you know how to write an effective paragraph, we can move to the scene. Look aback at the paragraph structure and write your paragraphs in this way every time. This is the way we write. The scene, however, is the main element of the novel. Let’s just say, we can’t write any fiction without a great scene. That normal novel is based on the scene. We write scenes to drive the plots and the telic flaw resolution.

Here is a basic scene outlive for a normal novel:

1. Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)

2. Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)

3. Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and develop the tension and release.

4. Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.

5. Write the release

6. Write the kicker

Yes, I’ll got through this again and put it in the context of the novel. We’ll see how it all works together.

I’m of the opinion that if you can write a good paragraph with good sentences, you can simply follow the scene outline to write a great (good) scene. There are a lot of ifs in this paragraphs.

There is a presumption in this outline—the first is the initial scene. The initial scene implies you have a protagonist, an antagonist or protagonist’s helper, an initial setting, and a telic flaw. I’ve gone through this before. I’ll do it again, but not at the moment. Perhaps as we delve into the scene outline, I’ll provide some more of this information in depth, but I’d like to give you a wider field of ideas at the moment.

In the first place, we need an initial scene to set off the novel. That initial scene must (should) include your initial setting, the protagonist, the antagonist or the protagonist’s helper, and a telic flaw. With these you can write a novel. As I’ve written before, these are critical as well as important items in the initial scene and in your novel. I personally develop the initial scene in my imagination and then populate it with the proper elements later. To me the initial scene itself is the main and most important part of the novel and of the development of the novel. Everything else can be developed in a more rigid and organized fashion—the initial scene can’t be. It must be visceral and real. The initial scene, more than any other scene, must catch the attention of the reader and the writer. The reader and publisher for sales and acceptance, the writer to catch fire to the novel.

The initial scene defines the novel. I see the initial scene in my imagination. It might be blurry and not totally defined, but the point of the scene is to launch the novel and nothing else. Eventually, the initial scene must have pure clarity and beauty, but in the beginning, it can be like an ancient mirror, through a glass darkly. I’ll continue this thought with an example, next.

I’ve written about this example before. I’ll do it again. When I developed my novel Essie: Enchantment and the Aos Si, I pictured an abused, naked, and feral girl who only ate meat and who was raiding Mrs. Lyon’s pantry. This picture for an initial scene is what motivated and developed this novel for me—in other words, I had to develop everything to support this initial scene. To me, the scene itself was worth writing about and then developing to build a novel. There are obvious questions such a scenario and scene bring up. Why was the girl abused? Who is she? Where did she come from? Why is she naked? Why is she wild? Why won’t she eat anything except meat? Why is she in Mrs. Lyon’s pantry? Where did she come from? There are other important questions that come from this situation and scene as well. You might write an entirely different novel based on a similar type scene. In any case, the scene itself, for me, drove the novel and the ideas for the novel. In this case, I built up an initial scene that I thought would sell a novel all by itself. This is my tactic in writing everything I write. The point is the initial scene. The rest of the novel is important and fun as well, but the initial scene is what sells your novel. Plus, the initial scene, for me, writes the novel. I have other examples. I’ll give you one from Seoirse, next.

In Seoirse, I planned an initial scene where Rose confronted the dangerous goddess girls and that caused and set off the entire novel. I couldn’t make it an initial scene. There was too much build-up to the scene for it to be an initial scene. Even if I made Rose the protagonist, it just wouldn’t work. Plus, Seoirse as the protagonist was just the best choice especially to balance Rose and her issues.

In any case, although I wanted the confrontation scene to be the initial scene, it wouldn’t work, and I’m not into flashbacks—especially for very important scenes. I’m not into flashbacks at all, they are useful, and can be effective, but I don’t use them and I don’t recommend them. An initial scene as a flashback would be horrible.

So, in Seoirse, I was thwarted in developing the initial scene, but I did better—I went to my own advise and made the initial scene the initial meeting of the protagonist, Seoirse, with the protagonist’s helper, Rose. That fixed everything. This scene really set off the novel and allowed me to develop the buildup to the scene I originally envisioned. I think I showed this on this blog and definitely on my other blog, as I developed the novel and explained the development.

The main point of this is to envision the initial scene. That means to imagine it, and imagine it well. Then start with it. As I wrote, I couldn’t make the initial scene of Seoirse work as I desired, but I could build it from another scene, and a better initial scene. That’s how we use our imagination to develop scenes and an initial scene. I’ll also point out that at no time did I have any writer’s block—that’s because I imagine and worked out everything in my imagination and mind before I sat down to write. We’ll look at elements of the initial scene and scene development, next.

Here is the scene outline:

1. Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)

2. Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)

3. Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and develop the tension and release.

4. Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.

5. Write the release

6. Write the kicker

The initial scene doesn’t have an input. We need to develop the entire prescene information. This many times isn’t expressed in the novel, not directly. This preinitial scene information becomes part of the revelation of the protagonist. We give this out as necessary. For an initial scene, we start with the minimal information. We want to give the basics of the setting. I’ll get to this next.

I’m flying out to Iowa to pick up kids and grandkids. So, I’m writing at 9000 feet over Missouri. This is very pertinent to the scene and setting the scene. In a novel, if I just started writing about the character flying, but I never told you he or she was flying, you would be completely lost for a long time—lost long enough to perhaps throw away the book in disgust. It would irritate me.

This is one of my pet peeves with any and all writers. Most published and experienced writers set the scene properly and develop the novel properly, but some, especially the inexperienced act like they are playing I got a secret. In fact, there was a whole period in especially science fiction where the authors kept close hold on the setting and details of the setting as if that was a real secret to be revealed. The setting is never a secret.

In every stage play anyone has ever seen, the setting or at least the details of the stage are evident the moment the curtain rises. This is how novels should work. The moment the curtain rises, the reader should see the stage and everything on it. Now, in writing, we can release the information as we desire. If we want to describe or focus on one specific part of the stage first, we can. I advise a reasoned and logical progress in the description, but, yes, for entertainment purposes, you can and should emphasize the setting in a way that is fun and builds tension. The main point is we are not playing I’ve got a secret with the setting, although some elements might be kept under wraps.

I started Sorcha: Enchantment and the Curse with great scene setting, but the protagonist had no idea where she was or even her state. She woke up from anesthesia strapped to a table with no idea how she got there, why she was there, or where she was. That was part of the initial setting and scene. I didn’t play secrets with the reader, I showed the reader the scene setting, but all the other information was what the protagonist knew. This is the real strength of the setting. I’ll get to that, next.

We show the setting and then set in motion the situation. The point, in the initial scene, is to develop the setting and describe the setting with sufficient setting elements that can be turned into creative elements as well as to set the scene. This is why I advise setting the scene as the first step in writing any scene. All you have to do is to show what your readers can see on the stage of the novel. Showing what can be seen is the main point of scene setting. The important point is showing what the readers can see. This is just like a stage play.

When the curtain rises, the audience can see the stage. They have no idea about the characters or what anything means except from what they see on the stage. For example, if the stage shows a castle interior, the viewers might gather something about the place. If the stage shows a train station with a German name, that tells us a little about the setting. If the setting shows an opulent mansion with people in 16^th Century costumes, that tells us a lot about the place. If a character begins to speak about some king, that places the setting even better. The main point is that the author without telling can show and place a lot into the setting, and the readers will understand and begin to understand the situation. With dialog, as I wrote, we can further set the time and place, we can and should do this without telling.

So, the initial thing in any setting is to describe the stage and everyone and every thing on and as they enter the stage. It isn’t necessary to describe every single thing on the stage, but to build it up as the readers need the information. This is bringing in setting elements that then we make into creative elements. I’ll write about this, next.

Set the stage of the novel, and show don’t tell. Show us what is on the stage when your novel starts. Give us good, useful, and elegant descriptions of every thing that is important. This creates setting elements. In addition, show us the people and what they are wearing.

Show us the place and the time—don’t tell us anything, show everything. Once you’ve set the stage, you can move to the next part—turning the setting elements into creative elements. The moment a character moves, they become a creative element. In general, characters are creative elements just by being on the stage, but this isn’t always true. You might describe a character who walks off the stage without doing anything, or a character who just walks on with no other purpose. These are not super common, but they happen especially in crowds and on crowded streets. You can always promote them to a creative element, for example, a newsboy on the corner is a quaint add. If your protagonist buys a newspaper, the boy and the paper are promoted to creative elements. If the protagonist asks the newsboy a question of importance, that might move them to a plot element. If the newspaper includes important information, that moves the newspaper to a plot element. In any case, these are all for tension and then release. The tension is usually the promotion of the element.

I’m looking at setting elements and writing about their promotion. The most important point is the introduction of these elements in descriptions on the stage of the novel. Note that there is no need of a total brain dump when we write the description although the author needs to look closely at each element as it is added to the narrative.

For example, as we bring a new character either in the description or as they enter the stage, we need to express them as a setting element. As we set the stage, we describe. I won’t give an example yet, but I’ll continue to describe how we do this.

In the first place, whatever is fixed on the stage, we must begin with that. A good place to start is with big to little. The big is usually the sky, light, and conditions. This really does set the scene. I’m not in favor of telling, for example, “It was Christmas.” A better way to approach this is through showing the description, “The night was dark, and a light covering of snow covered everything as if it perfectly expressed the season. Red and green lights blinked on and off with typical Christmas decorations on each house.”

Okay, this is showing. I just showed you that it was a night during the Christmas season. I did this without telling. I used the word Christmas as an adjective and didn’t tell you the season—you imagined that part yourself. We can get deeper into this. The point is to start big and go small, but we aren’t just puking out everything at once. We shall continue with this.

There is more to this, of course.

Setting a scene is a great skill. As I wrote, we don’t just puke out the entire scene and everything in it. We should have a plan for the setting and the description(s). I recommend starting with the large and going to the small. You could also go from the important to the less important.

For example, I usually start with the sky, that is the weather, lighting, sky conditions, with some hints about the time and season. This is evident when the curtain rises. I then move to the larger items on the stage: the buildings and grounds for example. These can tell you a lot about the time, place, and season. Again, the point isn’t to tell but to show what is on the stage. I like to start with the building and the grounds, and then move the description with the characters. Obviously, the writer must get to the character or characters. This is a description too.

Note, that these are obvious things on the stage. As we move the camera to these, we describe them. Thus, the place, the main buildings, the main character(s), then we move the camera with the character(s). At some point, we have described and set the scene sufficiently to begin the action and the dialog. With the action and dialog, we can describe other characters and items as we go.

Here’s the basic rule of description. The moment we introduce something, we should describe it. I’ll get to that next.

I teach Arlo Guthrie’s method or technique for description. He might not have been the first to say it, but it makes sense to me. The first time we describe something, we give 300 words to a major character or place and 100 words to a minor character or place. This is a great rule of thumb. You don’t have to count words, but the main point is to give that much, 300 and 100 words or so worth to your descriptions.

If you notice, the rule of thumb isn’t to give 1000 or 5000 words, but 300 and 100. Reading the Victorians, some might conclude that more are better, but that means you didn’t really read the Victorians—if you did, you would know why 300 and 100 are just right and much more is too much.

If you don’t believe me, go back and reread the firstr chapter of The Mill on the Floss. I love George Eliot, but the telling and the describing for that novel is just too much. Way too much. She does better in most of her other novels, but it’s just too much. Read Arlo Guthrie’s Big Sky and see how his method works. He does a great job with description. No telling only showing.

I’ll get more into this, next.

The things on the stage of the novel need to be described, by showing. Show us with 100 to 300 words what the weather, sky, and land look, smell, taste, feel, and sound like. Show us with 100 to 300 words what the buildings and land based stuff looks, smells, tastes, feels, and sounds like. Show us with 100 to 300 words what each of the people on the stage look, smell, taste, feel, and sound like. Okay, you most likely don’t need to show us what they taste or feel like, but the others are fair game. The point is simple, just show us what we can see.

You can make normal and reasonable transitions with action or dialog to differentiate and fit the characters. For example, you can transition from a house to a character by having them open the door and walk out. Or you could have the character at the wall speak out loud or to another. Then describe them. The point is to show us what we see on the stage and to get to these descriptions in a natural and reasonable way—without telling. I should likely hunt up an example. I think I’ll bring up Shiggy from Rose again.

I’ll show it to you next and then explain it a little.

Here is the initial scene from Rose: Enchantment and the Flower.

January 2028, Rousay, Orkney Islands, Scotland

The rest of the house rose up beyond the kitchen and into its upper story. The place was supposed to be haunted, but Shiggy didn’t believe in ghosts. She took a very careful visual scan around the grounds and buildings. She had been scanning the place since it came within sight from the road, the B9064. She had seen nothing with her infrared scanners or visually to alarm her. She had seen no other cars since she drove out of the Rousay Orkney ferry terminal.

Shiggy locked her car with the clicker, it was silenced, and held the car keys between her fingers while digging into her purse for the house keys. She unbuttoned her coat as she stepped cautiously toward the outside door to the kitchen. Shiggy stopped at the left side of the door and flattened herself against the wall. She shivered and made a face, then she moved her head forward, but not within the plane of the door and listened closely. Nothing. With one hand she unlocked the kitchen door and pushed it open.

She waited a goodly interval listening before she slipped silently through the door and into the kitchen. She noted, the stone walls of the house were very thick. The door jams indicated they were at least two feet thick. The house was cold, but not freezing, not like the outside. She shivered again. That stupid real estate bink had told her they checked everything and turned on all the utilities. This was a pisser.

I’ll explain, next.

First paragraph, yes it starts with telling—the identification of Shiggaion who is now Shiggy Tash—this is telling, but this is also identification. I don’t have any problem with applying a handle to a character. The rest is showing. You should be able to identify a small and ancient Triumph touring car. The rest describes Shiggy and her clothing. Then the weather—freezing with a little to help the reader to see the clothing. We don’t show her um, gear, but we do explain, tell, okay why she needed to wear a short skirt in the freezing weather. This is a means of showing without telling all. This leads to more showing and a little telling. This reasons why she is here, the organization and about the area. The concept about the organization is not known—it’s known by my readers, but not normally. The rest is general knowledge. The Orkneys and Rousay Island are not the best or easiest of areas to get a house or to visit. The average UK reader might know this but not other English readers.

I’ll give you more, next.

The first statement is qualitative and telling. It gives up the location—you could say, it repeats the location, and tells us about the quality of the house. Further, the information about Shiggy and memory as well as the next statement is telling. As well as the information about the reburbishment and the use of a garage. The rest is all showing.

What is with all this telling. You might say, you are supposed to show what is on the stage of the novel, and the answer is yes, but some telling lets us understand the context of the stage. You could say this is information the actors might express in dialog or is general information. One of my main rules of writing is to not confuse your readers. The expression of this general information conveys context and expression about the setting. I’m not sure there is a better way to express this or show it without any telling at all. We’ll see how the rest fits into this, next.

These two paragraphs start with showing. The statement about ancient is showing mixed with telling—it’s a quality statement. Yes, the next statement is telling. The rest is from Shiggy’s mind. Each statement give us a showing with a quality telling statement. For example, she guessed it was whitewash. The last sentence is showing.

This second statement starts with showing, then transitions to some telling—it was supposed to be haunted… The last part is showing mixed with telling. The point is that out PoV (point of view) is Shiggy. This makes all the telling showing. We are seeing the house and the world through Shiggy’s eyes, taste, feel, smell, and hearing. This requires some movement into telling, but the reality is that we are setting the stage of the novel. The curtain has risen and the stuff is visible on the stage, Shiggy is showing this to us. She is the PoV.

The concept of the PoV (Point of View) character and PoV in general is critical in any novel. Every scene and every novel has some PoV. Most publishers and editors will advise you to rarely if never shift the PoV in a scene. The best scenes are set from a specific and certain PoV. In general, the PoV for any novel is the protagonist, although, the third person allows the writer to move the PoV at will. In a first person novel (or a second person novel) the PoV must remain with the protagonist and from the first (or second person). I put second person in parenthesis because these are very rare and there are no classics written in the second person.

There is no problem writing from a specific PoV. There is a problem with telling too much from any PoV. Let’s continue, as we now have identified Shiggy as the PoV.

This entire paragraph is showing. There is no telling. Notice what Shiggy has and what she does. He has a silenced clicker. That shows a great degree of sophistication and planning. She also holds her keys between her fingers—this is a defensive technique. She unbuttoned her coat, obviously to be able to reach her stuff better—even though it was freezing. As I noted, all this is showing with zero telling. The entire reason we can get to this is the little telling that preceded this paragraph. We are still in the Shiggy PoV, but we are watching Shiggy, and seeing the setting being placed before us.

In this last paragraph in the example. I could give you more. We established the PoV for the description, and we are watching Shiggy as she explores the setting. In this way we are presenting the setting to the reader so they can see what is going on on the stage of the novel. We saw the setting for the outside of the house, but we are moving with the PoV to the inside of the house.

In this paragraph, we see the transition. Shiggy already moved to the door and opened it. She listens before she slips through. All this is to show the setting as well as the character and person of Shiggy. Normal people coming to a property don’t usually act like this. This is also part of the setting. We are setting Shiggy both on the stage and in the setting. She is in some ways out of place, but she is also totally in place. The oddity of the setting as well as the oddity of the person, the character, drives the initial scene as we haven’t even gotten into much of the action. This is indeed the mixture of action with description. There is some presumed dialog. It really isn’t telling as much as setting for the entire circumstance.

In addition, I’ll point out the last statement is part of this setting. There is more afoot here than just the circumstances of a rental in the boonies. This problem of inconsistencies will build, of course, in the initial scene and as part of the setting. The setting will continue as Shiggy, the PoV moves into and around the house. Perhaps I should show you that, next.

The interior remained lighted well enough from the setting sun through the windows for her to see very well. The kitchen was nicely done up in modern white and black. A rectangular table sat in the center surrounded by simple red upholstered chairs. The place smelled musty, and she made another face. It was supposed to be immediately usable. That’s what they had told The Organization and her boss, Sorcha. Shiggy didn’t turn on the lights—no reason to alert any unexpected inhabitants.

Her lip curled up as she ran a finger along the countertop—dust. Everywhere dust. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Well, this room was clear. Not as shipshape as she hoped but clear of any threats.

Shiggy pulled off her heavy black Givenchy coat and laid it quietly over one of the kitchen chairs. She needed access to her weapons and no impediments to her activities.

With movements that were unusually quiet for a woman wearing Christian Louboutin metal shanked stiletto heels, Shiggy made her way to the open interior kitchen door. She intentionally left the exterior door unlocked and unlatched for the moment. The motion sensors in her car would tell her if anyone approached this side of the house from the exterior. She had pointed one of the sensors directly toward the house.

The interior kitchen door opened to a dining room with a large dark oak table, chairs, and a sideboard. On the opposite side of the room to the right, a couple of doors, she knew, led to closets and a water closet. On the left, lay a vestibule. The vestibule contained a door to the outside and the garden as well as the stairs to the upper floor. Further to her right lay another door. It was also open, and she knew, from the house plans, led to the front parlor—what the plans called the sitting room.

Shiggy slipped to this door and glanced through it. She had to move further into the sitting room than she liked because of the thickness of the stone walls, but she noticed nothing that warned her, at first. She stepped slowly and silently into the room. It was also partially lit by the setting sun. The slanting bright light shown through the two front and two windows on the left side. Twin modern leather swivel chairs stood before the two main windows, with the front door between the windows. The front of the house faced south toward the coast and the Eynhallow Sound. There wasn’t much of a front entrance—only a single wooden door. Across from the swivel chairs sat a white leather couch, and between them a glass topped coffee table. “So, 1980s,” Shiggy mouthed. On the right side of the room and nearly directly in front of her stood a large wooden desk. More than once, she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. It was okay for a safehouse, but pretty backwoods, from her experience—even Sherwood House was more modern.

On either end of the room lay a fireplace. The one on her left looked like a gas hearth and the one on the right like a wood and coal fireplace. She caught a whiff but noted no wood or ashes on the right hearth like she expected from the scent. She took a deeper breath and smelled damp ash that was unusually fresh. Shiggy moved silently closer to the wood fireplace and sniffed. She definitely smelled wood ashes and a whiff of smoke. Perhaps wood and paper smoke. Someone had recently made a fire in one of the hearths in the building. That was a problem with these old places when the fireplaces remained operational. Even when the damper was closed, the smell of ash and smoke would reenter from the chimney pots. That likely meant the fireplace in the bedroom above the dining room had recently been used. From her diagrams and pictures, the master bedroom’s fireplace on this side had been removed to add the new bath, and the other side upper rooms had their own chimneys. Interesting, this might mean nothing or something.

These paragraphs move the PoV, Shiggy into the house to a very important point in the description. I guess I’ll go over this part of the example, next.

This is showing through PoV. Shiggy can see because the setting sun through the windows in the house. This is part of the setting for the time of day without telling anything. The kitchen comes into the setting through the PoV. We see the furniture. Then, we smell the place, “musty.” With her reaction to it. We can see this reaction. The next is telling, but still through the PoV. We get a little background and history about Shiggy—her boss and her “company,” The Organization. This is an important little bit of information for us. We have all this in PoV from Shiggy.

Then we get another bit of pure showing with telling. She didn’t turn on the lights with an explanation—to not alert any unexpected inhabitants. This is also foreshadowing. Ha ha.

Shiggy pulled off her heavy black Givenchy coat and laid it quietly over one of the kitchen chairs. She needed access to her weapons and no impediments to her activities.

Next, we get touch—Shiggy touches the counter and notes the dust. This is PoV showing with a transition from dust to threats. The point is to both foreshadow and to show what Shiggy is really looking for. We get a little action with taking off the coat plus the specifics about access to weapons. This shows us more and more about our character. The next paragraph extends this.

Shiggy is wearing some very stylish and interesting shoes, high heels, and she is exceedingly quiet. This shows her training and also delineates some information on weapons. Then we get even more PoV showing and information about Shiggy and her operations. She has sensors pointed at the house from her automobile. This is already way beyond the normal vaca crowd or even the normal citizen on an assignment. We should guess a lot about Shiggy, but we don’t know anything yet. That’s because this is stage setting. It’s setting the scene through showing. I guess I’ll continue to expand this, next.

We begin to move Shiggy through the house. The first room beyond the kitchen is the dining room. We get a description as well as some description of the rest of the lower floor. Notice the use of PoV to show as well as to explain what we are seeing. I was working from the same plans Shiggy was to show this house. This house looks just like I described. I haven’t been there, I saw the plans and the pictures.

As Shiggy moves into the sitting room, we see the light from the setting sun provides some details and contrasts in the room. It also reminds us of the time, the place, and the season. Although most of this is visual, we get other touches as well as details from the visual that expand our understanding of the room, house, and the setting.

In case you, as the reader, didn’t get it, the house is decorated in last Century’s splendor. Shiggy tells us. I’m not into mind games and telepathy, so I’d much rather have my characters mouth or say things under their breath. Obviously, this is similar to just telling, but I like the technique and it expresses something similar, but fits my sensibilities.

The end comparison is for my other readers who have potentially read Sorcha: Enchantment and the Curse which is where Shiggy came from. We’ll continue for a little with this stage setting, next.

I’m wondering how much more I should give you. I think I’ll bring it to the discovery of Rose. The main point in this setting is we are getting into the deep narrative of the novel in this setting stage. Look at the description:

On either end of the room lay a fireplace. The one on her left looked like a gas hearth and the one on the right like a wood and coal fireplace.

This is sight PoV from Shiggy. The point is to show us the wood and the gas hearth. This is important in the setting description and the narrative because of what follows:

She caught a whiff but noted no wood or ashes on the right hearth like she expected from the scent. She took a deeper breath and smelled damp ash that was unusually fresh. Shiggy moved silently closer to the wood fireplace and sniffed. She definitely smelled wood ashes and a whiff of smoke. Perhaps wood and paper smoke. Someone had recently made a fire in one of the hearths in the building. That was a problem with these old places when the fireplaces remained operational. Even when the damper was closed, the smell of ash and smoke would reenter from the chimney pots. That likely meant the fireplace in the bedroom above the dining room had recently been used. From her diagrams and pictures, the master bedroom’s fireplace on this side had been removed to add the new bath, and the other side upper rooms had their own chimneys.

Here, I brough in smell from the PoV, Shiggy. She smells smoke. Yes, this is a problem with all those chimney pots in those old Victorian, earlier and later houses. The chimneys in the past when all the fireplaces were going didn’t really have any problems, however, in the modern era, if a fire is placed in one fireplace, the rest of them tend to get a little wood smoke smell in them, and even with perfectly designed flues, back smoke smell isn’t uncommon from any fireplace. Shiggy smells smoke in a clean fireplace—therefore, she knows a fire has been or is burning in one of the fireplaces upstairs. Further, she know the plans—there is only one fireplace where the smoke can be coming from. As she notes, this could be something or nothing. We shall see.

Shiggy didn’t turn on any lights. She checked the lock and latch on the front door, then moved back into the dining room. She checked the closets and the water closet, then stepped to the vestibule. The back door to the gardens and garage was also locked and latched, that left the stairs and the upper floor to check. Her heels were a couple of weapons she didn’t want to lose, but she needed to move quickly up and down stairs, so she slipped them off. She left her Christian Louboutin stilettos at the side of the stairs where she could reclaim them when she returned.

Now, Shiggy became completely noiseless. She crept at the left edge of the stairs against the wall where she knew the risers would not creak. She made her way to the top of the stairs and lay down at the last one where no one should be able to easily spot her.

On the landing, directly ahead of her, lay double doors, now closed, she knew these entered the master bedroom. At her left the closed door should be the second bedroom above the lower level water closet and cloakroom. On the right, the door to the bedroom above the dining lay open. From inside came the thin scent of wood and paper smoke as well as the flicker of a moving shadow like someone or something stirring in front of a small flame.

Shiggy’s lip turned up in a feral smile, and she moved very quickly from the top of the stairs to the right side of the door. She reached under her short skirt and pulled out a graphite pistol, labeled Etan Arms AR-2 on the frame and Móralltach on the slide. It was loaded with 9mm kurtz graphite rounds. She didn’t take the time to change out the magazine for one loaded with brass and hollow points.

Shiggy held her pistol and opened her golden clutch. She pulled out a small camera on a transparent flexible extending stick and let it out a few feet. Her company phone also came out of her clutch and she pulled up an already open app and nodded. The camera showed exactly what she wanted.

Shiggy started at the floor level and gave the stick a twist, it extended and turned around the frame of the door until she could see exactly what was going on in the room. Her brow rose.

Through her phone, she saw a tall and slender person. It looked like a woman, but it was hard to tell. The woman wore a child’s dress. It was a dingy looking brown, but the camera acuity couldn’t tell if that was due to dirt or just its color. The dress was short and tight. The woman’s skin was pale. Perhaps it was the palest skin Shiggy had seen on a human being, and she had seen some beings with pretty pale skin. The woman looked like someone who had never seen the sunlight. She squatted in front of the fireplace. Her hands reached out before a small fire. That was interesting, but even more interesting was her hair. It was long and fine with tiny curls and as red as any red hair Shiggy had ever seen. It was so red and the woman so pale, Shiggy almost convinced herself this being had to be something other than human.

Well, she needed to check for sure before she pushed her phone’s panic button. Shiggy pulled another device out of her clutch. It looked like a piece of wood with a clear stone imbedded in it and a hole worn through the stone. Across the hole, at the very edge of perception, Shiggy blew a couple of odd and ancient sounding Celtic words. Then she held the hole to her eye and looked through her phone at the woman again.

Shiggy let out a silent sigh—the woman was at least mostly human, and she didn’t need special backup. The regular protections should be sufficient. She touched her crucifix and the small cross of iron under her blouse just to make sure they were still there. Shiggy pulled back her camera and put everything away in her clutch. The woman appeared too interested in her small fire to perceive anything else. Shiggy still needed to check out the rest of the house. She wanted to get this confrontation over as quickly as possible.

Shiggy replaced the pistol in her thigh holster. The woman didn’t appear to be armed and she was obviously unaware. Shiggy pulled a handful of long zip ties from her clutch and slung the clutch behind her back. The zip ties went neatly into the leather belt on her skirt.

Shiggy took a deep breath and moved to the side of the door. She peered quickly around the thick jam and moved silently into the room. The woman didn’t hear her at all. Shiggy simply grabbed the back of her neck with one hand and pressed on her windpipe with the other. The woman gave a cut off screech that came out like a soft hiss. It was so quiet it couldn’t have been heard beyond the room.

At the same time, Shiggy put her knee against the woman’s back and pressed. The woman flailed, trying to take a breath. Shiggy let go, and the woman fell forward against the stone mantel. Her head hit the stones with a soft crack, and she went limp.

“Whoops,” Shiggy mouthed. That had to hurt. Shiggy shrugged and pulled the woman’s arms behind her. She zip tied her wrists together and then pulled her long legs together and zipped her ankles together. Shiggy turned her over and saw it was a girl. Likely not more than fifteen perhaps not less than fourteen.

As Shiggy had noted before, the girl had flaming red hair. Perhaps the reddest hair she had seen on any human being. The girl looked as slender as a willow or perhaps a garden flower. Thin and tall with the appearance of a wildflower. Her very dirty face was a pleasure to behold. A thin but noble nose and cheeks touched with rose and dirt. Lips fine and red as if they had been recently pinched all set perfectly and delicately in a heart-shaped face. The girl looked like fine porcelain—the face of a doll in a human frame. Achingly beautiful, wonderfully made, but dirty as humanly possible.

Shiggy rolled her eyes, and gave a noiseless snort, the girl’s beauty was almost wasted because of all the dirt and her childish fashion. She searched the girl. Her clothing was not only unfashionable but filthy. The dress wasn’t brown. It was a grey dress that had been worn so long and under such dire conditions that the bland color was soiled almost beyond recognition. The girl had nothing on her except a small pocketknife. Shiggy took it. She didn’t even wear any underwear. “Gross,” Shiggy mouthed.

After the girl was trussed and searched, Shiggy took a look at the fire. The girl had been holding a stick with a plucked and eviscerated pigeon on it. That had fallen into the small fire. She moved the pigeon out of the flame and to the side. No need to cause more of a blaze or other incendiary problems.

There was nothing else to do here. Shiggy checked the girl again. She was still breathing and bleeding, just slightly from her lips and the scrape on her head. Shiggy pulled up one of the girl’s eyelids. Her pupils looked normal. Shiggy stepped around the girl and headed to the closed door across from this bedroom.

Here is the rest to the description and introduction of Rose. I’ll write more, next. I’m too tired to write today. Plus I’m sick. My children gave it to me over the holidays. Oh well.

Here, in a paragraph, we get the rest of the downstairs. Shiggy is itching to check the first bedroom upstairs. To get ready, Shiggy gets rid of her shoes. We get the idea that Shiggy could probably maneuver pretty well with them on, but she is preparing for battle.

We also learn that her stiletto heels are weapons. That in itself is interesting. We will find out more about Shiggy’s weapons. The fact that she has weapons and understands their use, should be of great interest to us. Most people are not like Shiggy. Most people don’t have silenced klickers or sensors in their cars. Shiggy is obviously different and not like other people. We’ll see just how different, next.

We wanted to see this—just like Shiggy. Shiggy is prepped for action. She is obviously well trained for something. We see her actions in the narrative, then the observation from her PoV. We see the top of the landing from her standpoint, and the open door with the smell of wood and paper smoke and moving shadows. The entire point of this is to present the description and scene setting in exciting terms.

What will Shiggy do, next?

If you wondered why Shiggy worn the clothing she did on such a cold day, here’s part of the answer—she is hiding a small graphite pistol loaded with graphite rounds. If this doesn’t tell you she is a spy then nothing will. Such a pistol is illegal in most nations of the world. The reason is they are undetectable with normal metal detectors or normal weapon’s detectors. The rounds are also undetectable. The reason for naming the pistol both personally and with it’s brand is because in my other novels, the Etan Arms brand is one of my character’s companies. The AR-2 refers to the second automatic weapon in their brand. The name, Móralltach, is the personal name of the weapon. Look it up—it will tell you more about Shiggy. Ha ha.

Now, from the Shiggy Pov, she is getting out the rest of her surveillance equipment to check out the person in the bedroom. We see her preparing it while ready to act if the person detects or attacks her.

Shiggy started at the floor level and gave the stick a twist, it extended and turned around the frame of the door until she could see exactly what was going on in the room. Her brow rose.

Now we are getting to it. If you see, we’ve set the stage and are still setting it. Part of this stage setting is through the PoV of Shiggy. Shiggy is our PoV and the character we are moving about the stage of the novel. If you notice, we set the description for Shiggy, but we haven’t shown everything yet about her—she isn’t the main focus of the novel, the character we will meet next is.

We see the descriptions from the PoV of Shiggy. This is a perfect way to first depict a protagonist. It’s one of my favorite means. There are many ways to approach this, but this is a great technique. Notice the first paragraph piques our interest—that’s its purpose, and we get a showing “her brow rose,” that lets us know something odd is up. Then we get the stage setting of a person. This person happens to be our protagonist, but no one knows this yet.

We see some basic description about size, height, clothing, general appearance—noitce going from large to more detailed. Still, we see there are real unexpected issues here. One might ask how such a person might be here in this house. The house isn’t trashed and Shiggy saw no other indications of a person in it. This person appears to be a squatter…or more.

Then we get to the main difference—just how pale the person is and just how red her hair is. This leads Shiggy to a conclusion that she might not be facing a human being. This isn’t the first inkling of this, but it is the first direct insinuation that Shiggy might be about something much greater than what we were thinking. Yes, I’m leading the reader to expand their ideas, but we’ve moved from potential spy for Shiggy to something a little difference, perhaps.

I’ll mention that super pale skin and super red hair are characteristics of the Scottish people. The fact that this person is even more pale than normal and has much redder hair than normal might excite our thoughts—it gets Shiggy thinking, and she’s thinking about the supernatural. Why not? That’s to be seen.

This is interesting in itself. Shiggy has a panic button on her phone for the supernatural. This implies she either has to work with the supernatural or needs some type of protection against the real supernatural—and she has tools for investigating the supernatural. If you did a search for this device, you’d find it—it’s a classic seeing stone or a sear stone which is used by the non-supernatural to detect and reveal the supernatural. Of course, you need to say the proper words to activate such a device—that’s what makes it so interesting and so real to the reader.

Notice, I don’t tell you what Shiggy sees exactly, but it is enough to not alarm her. If the girl were some kind of high level Fae or other supernatural creature, Shiggy might need help, but as she notes, her usual security of a crucifix and an iron cross should be sufficient. If the girl isn’t supernatural, then Shiggy can use human means to counter and take care of her. That’s the conclusion of the last paragraph. Shiggy is in a hurry, and she wants to wrap everything up.

Shiggy doesn’t need her pistol. She puts it away. She is obviously prepared, police or security prepared. She has all the tools ready to take care of her little intruder—from deadly force to anything less, but Shiggy is resolute, and trained.

The little technique I show you, that Shiggy uses, is the self-caused incapacitation. This is a much better method than any active one. The attack is proportional and the results are the actions of the person and not the attacker. This provides some degree of plausible deniability if anything happens to go wrong. For example, if Shiggy were to accidentally harm her target while holding her down, the result might be tragic. In this case, Shiggy simply applies some small restrain, allows the victim to flail, and lets go. The result isn’t happy, but is it Shiggy’s fault? Yes, this is a trained technique. It’s used in certain quarters all the time. Works in most courts of law too, when an excuse is necessary.

Once the target is immobilized, Shiggy uses the prepared zip ties to restrain the girl’s arms and legs. This is an obvious and typical police technique. Military too. You’d think zip ties were developed for this purpose. At the same time, we get some more scene setting with the girl. We see, she is a girl, a young woman, and that she has long legs, plus she is about fifteen. We will get more information, next.

Here is where I get to set the protagonist and this character, the girl, into the setting and the stage of the novel. If you notice, the description of the girl is from the PoV of Shiggy. This is really fun—it isn’t telling, this is a PoV showing from Shiggy.

This girl is beautiful. I tried to give you a glimpse of her beauty. Then Shiggy’s impression—as dirty as humanly possible. This tells us something about the girl. If you notice, we have hints from all over. Shiggy is worried this girl is something not quite human. The red hair and beauty point to this. Her very pale skin points to this. These are things we might not notice immediately about a person unless we looked very closely or examined them, like Shiggy is doing. Shiggy is trained, and we are benefiting from her expertise. Still, the girl is dirty. This tells us something important too.

This girl is a force of nature. She’s not a normal person. She’s wild, and at this moment, not free. If you notice, the girl’s description moves from her person, as in her features and body to her clothing and possessions.

From the description, we can see that this girl has nothing. She hasn’t been cared for. She hasn’t been looked after. She has some kind of hand-me-down clothing and no underwear. The point isn’t to be salacious, but to point out her poverty. Shiggy distains such things—that’s just the way she is and was trained. She understands, but we will find out more, next.

There is more—the girl was cooking her dinner. It wasn’t a very good or large dinner, but it was a pigeon, not the best of meat, on a skewer. The fire was made by the girl just for the purpose of cooking her dinner. This in itself is interesting. I make this note because this is how I like to write—I like to throw out ideas in description for the reader to take up on their own. I don’t describe or explain anything I don’t think I need to.

In this case, the reader might ask the question, why and how did this girl get this pigeon? Why is she eating such gross food. Why is she in such poverty? How and how long has she lived in this house? Why is she in this house?

You can bet Shiggy is asking these questions. Perhaps we will get more information from her, next.

Shiggy does check the girl again to make certain she isn’t dying, but Shiggy has more work to do. She’s checking the safe house—and that’s something of note too. Why would Shiggy need a safehouse and what’s the entire purpose of everything?

As I wrote, this is unsaid. I call these secrets that are yet to be revealed in the novel. A novel is the revelation of the protagonist, and we have barely met the protagonist, the girl. Shiggy is making her exploration, but already we have enough secrets to fill a battleship.

Shiggy then made a very careful approach to the next bedroom. She pushed open the door with her pistol ready. No one was in the room. Shiggy nodded and moved to the master bedroom double doors. She silently opened the latch and pushed open the door. Inside lay a large bed, a settee, a dresser, and occasional furniture. In Shiggy’s eyes, the decorations and decorating were terrible. She barely noticed them as she checked the room, the bath above the kitchen, and finally the dressing room to the far left of the double door entrance.

Inside the dressing room, lay a door to a closet, a full-length mirror, and a woman’s dark dressing table. She checked inside the closet. There was nothing otherwise of note in the small room.

At the front of the master bedroom, just to the right and across from the double door entrance, lay another smaller set of double doors. They opened to a narrow stairway and led to an attic room. Shiggy made her way to the top of the stairs. She found nothing except bookshelves, books, and some older furniture. The space was completely enclosed without any windows, and bookshelves, filled with old books—they lined every wall of the room.

This was also likely where the girl had been staying. The bedclothes below were untouched in any of the bedrooms, but in this room, the smell of soiled human was unavoidable. Shiggy couldn’t tell exactly where the girl had been sleeping, but it was likely somewhere in here.

“Finally,” Shiggy let out a little louder sigh. She felt much better about this place as a safe house and a base for her operations. Now, to get rid of the girl and set up her equipment.

As Shiggy made her way down the stairs from the attic room, she heard scuffling coming from the bedroom where she had left the girl. Shiggy rushed to the bottom of the stairs and the small double doors. She arrived just in time to spot, through the large double doors of the master bedroom and the open second bedroom, the girl with her hands loose make a motion toward her ankles. In seconds, the girl was free and standing. She took a single backward glance at Shiggy and without a word, ran out the bedroom door directly to the stairs leading to the bottom floor.

By that time, Shiggy stood in her way at the top of the stairs. The girl didn’t bat an eye, she vaulted over the rail of the open stairs and down toward the bottom floor. The girl landed perfectly at the bottom and spang into the dining room. Shiggy was astounded that the girl didn’t break her legs. She couldn’t but help appreciate good skills like that.

Shiggy thought only a moment about letting her go. Chances were, the girl would disappear into the darkness, and Shiggy would never see her again, but then again, Shiggy couldn’t allow any compromises to her position or her work. She could always turn the girl into the local constable after she extracted any information she needed. “No lose ends,” Shiggy mouthed as she took the stairs in a jump as far and gracefully as the girl’s.

The girl was barely across the dining room when Shiggy caught her. She kicked the girl’s knees from behind and grabbed her shoulder. With a twist, the momentum took the girl up into the air forward and in a half backwards summersault. The result would have been tragic enough if she hadn’t been running forward at the same time. She came down on her back first, against the kitchen doorframe, and then second, with her head against the hardwood floor. She slid just a little further into the kitchen and didn’t even twitch after that.

Shiggy ran across the kitchen and flipped on the lights. Now, she could inspect her guest a little more closely. Shiggy noted the zip ties still attached to the girl’s ankle and wrist. She mouthed, “I should have guessed.” This time, Shiggy pulled silver metal chains from her clutch and bound the girl by her arms and legs to one of the kitchen chairs. Arms behind with the chains through the back of the chair, and legs slayed one at each side of the chair shackled with the chains attached to the back chair legs. Not a very lady-like position. This time, the girl was bleeding from her lips, forehead, and side of her head. After trussing her up, Shiggy took a wet rag and cleaned her up a little. Only a little, the girl was filthy. Not just her dress, but her face and all the rest of her.

Shiggy went out to her Triumph and extracted a couple of traveling bags from the boot. She walked back to the house. This time she locked the kitchen door and went around to recheck all the doors and now the windows. She turned on the lights. The sun had fully set by then. She carried the larger bag to the master bedroom and began to set up her temporary sensors. That would be enough until she could make them more permanent and hide them. They would eventually become part of The Organization’s safe house system if they decided to keep the place. At the same time, she turned up the heat and checked on the other utilities.

When Shiggy returned to the kitchen, the girl was struggling against her shackles and the chair. She had moved it a few feet across the floor. Shiggy kicked the legs of the chair and caused it to fall backwards onto the floor. The girl went with it. She struck her hands and arms with a thud, and her head followed along afterward. That sounded like a melon hitting stone. The girl lay dazed with her legs slayed to either side of the chair and her too short dress well above her naked thighs.

The girl hadn’t made a sound. Shiggy felt a little sorry for her, but this kind of physical control was usually an indicator of a trained intel asset. That’s the last thing she needed. The girl did either have special skills, or perhaps she was just very well trained. Unless aided by glamour, usually getting out of zip tie bonds was an advanced technique, and Shiggy knew how to foil all the usual techniques.

Here is a little more about Shiggy and Rose. I’ll give some commentary especially about secrets.

Perhaps I’ll give you more of this example, next.

Inside the dressing room, lay a door to a closet, a full-length mirror, and a woman’s dark dressing table. She checked inside the closet. There was nothing otherwise of note in the small room.

Okay, Shiggy is going through the house with a fine toothed comb. She was burned, so to speak, by finding someone in the place. The chances are there is no one else, but why would someone like Shiggy make a mistake of that degree. She’s checking the rest of the house, but this is also stage setting for me, the author to my readers. This is a great technique.

Use the explorations of a character, when possible to describe the stage and the setting. I’m going to use this house, Viera Lodge, as a setting through more than half of the novel. I want to make the description clear and indelible in the minds of my readers. It’s a simple house, but soooo fun and interesting.

Once, I get the stage set and the setting described through the Shiggy PoV, I’ll be able to go back and forth for the reader and the reader will or should remember most of the basic details. Clarity and good description are necessary for the reader—remember, don’t confuse your reader. I’m hoping this walk-through description will stick. It’s supposed to be simple, clear, and sequential from the kitchen all through the house and back again—we’ll get to the back again.

More, next.

Again, Shiggy is searching the property, and I’m setting the stage for the entire novel and the setting. We get a free description and tour of the house and later the grounds. I do that with the girl.

Notice, the PoV with Shiggy gives us some more information about the girl. We find where she is sleeping and basically where she is living. You might figure out why she would stay in the attic room—it’s the warmest. We will hear this from her mouth later, but for the moment, perhaps this is a secret.

As I wrote, I pepper my writing with these secrets. They are just ideas and observations that I throw up for my readers. Some can figure them out right away, and some can wait for the explanation. The point is the depth of the writing like the depth of any other real art.

“Finally,” Shiggy let out a little louder sigh. She felt much better about this place as a safe house and a base for her operations. Now, to get rid of the girl and set up her equipment.

Now we are talking. Shiggy wants to move on. She needs to have a clean safe house. She is moving in that direction. The girl is locked up and there should be no problems, then suddenly there is a problem.

You might ask, how could the girl escape zip ties applied by an expert in zip ties? This is an important point that we shall see in a moment, but you might ask this. Have you been tied up with zip ties, you might try—you can’t get out of them. That’s why the police use them for criminals. If they were so easy to escape from, then no one would use them. Somehow, this girl got out of zip ties. How could she do it?

Shiggy can’t allow any loose ends. Now, all of this is simply recorded in the narrative action, but it all should be slightly peculiar to the reader. In the first place, the girl makes an astounding leap from the top of the stairs to the bottom. This isn’t completely astounding, but it is a great feat of strength, poise, and skill. Shiggy can appreciate this, and from her PoV, we see she is impressed.

A person trained to just such action is what we are used to in action movies—you know the ones where reality and physics don’t exist. I hope that to the reader, physics and reality exist in this novel. The point isn’t that the girl’s or Shiggy’s actions are superhuman, but that they are trained and refined. It’s like premier athletes. Shiggy is definitely such a person—the girl is interesting.

Shiggy makes a decision—she’ll catch the girl. Once she has what she needs, as in information, she can turn her into the police. Simple, easy and no fuss. The girl has already caused Shiggy a host of problems. If we only knew what Shiggy’s mission was, and why the girl is there, and a host of other secrets that have already come up.

Shiggy knows this and knows something is off. She must do something about it.

Here we go into actin narration using the stage we already set. You know these places already because I described them to you through the Shiggy PoV. Shiggy is obviously well trained and capable. The girl, not so much. She isn’t trained and that is the main point here.

Shiggy catches up to her easily and then handles her in such a way that doesn’t harm Shiggy or muss her hair. I’d like to point out—those who are really trained, are really trained. They know how to use another person’s momentum, movement, and actions against them. Usually, those who are really trained and skilled, don’t get too close, and don’t ever get in the clench. I was trained in some of this. Our trainers taught us to make an attack and get out of the way. Always putting distance between you and a hopefully partially disabled enemy. Just as in Indiana Jones, forget knives if you have a gun, and forget your hands if you have anything available. Real hand to hand is ugly and dangerous—that’s what they taught us.

I’m not recommending any of this—it’s what men and women of action know to do. They are trained in it. Shiggy catches the girl, uses her own momentum to cause her to strike the floor. The intent wasn’t to particularly harm, but the result was satisfactory, for Shiggy, not for the girl.

I wanted to get to this because it tells you a lot without telling anything. The main point is all about the girl and what Shiggy knows, but the reader is left to guess.

Shiggy notes the zip ties—I already mentioned through the Shiggy PoV that only someone very trained or with certain skills could get out of zip ties. I’ll give you a hint, the supernatural and especially the Fae are supposed to not be able to be held with any normal locks or ties. This is a characteristic for them.

I will mention that experts, usually with the proper tools, who are trained in self-defense and offense can also slip these ties, but they usually need some tool or leverage. There are also tricks they use, but Shiggy is trained. The girl slipped her bonds without tools and without tricks (she was knocked out, remember). This leads Shiggy to the next logical idea. As she thought, the girl is in some way related to the supernatural and to the Fae. That’s what Shiggy was checking with her seeing stone and words.

Well, the answer to keeping the Fae or the supernatural bound is silver. It doesn’t have to be that strong or even that thick of bounds—it just has to touch them, and Shiggy has such bounds in her purse. That might make you think.

So, we have this girl who doesn’t show Fae enough on the seeing stone to really alarm Shiggy, but who can easily slip normal human bonds—Shiggy ties her up with silver chains on a chair. She can’t let this one go. Note, that Shiggy might have a little compassion, she cleaned the girl up a little. I suspect it isn’t as much compassion as a desire to keep the dirt and grime to the minimum. Shiggy has her own cleanliness issues.

Now, we get more information about Shiggy and her work. Not enough to tell us what exactly she is up to, but good information. Most of this is basic information about taking care of the house and setting up her housekeeping. You might note that all she has with her is a couple of traveling bags, and she sets up temporary sensors.

We get a real PoV setting description with the reason and reasoning for the sensors—the Organization’s safe house system. This is interesting. What is the Organization? And why do they need safe houses.

If you are a reader about intelligence and intelligence operations, you will know that intelligence agencies keep safe houses for their agents. Usually, these places are set up in enemy or close to enemy territory. The point is to have some location that is known to the good guys—the intelligence agency but not to the enemy. Shiggy is setting up just such a place—this is also why the girl is a liability. If Shiggy can’t do something about her, her mission could be in jeopardy and the safe house will certainly not be safe in any sense. This is about the time for some character setting. We’ll get to that. I guess I’ll give you more.

The girl is a fighter, and this worries Shiggy. The weak and normal usually give up early. They whine and cry. They beg for mercy and they talk a lot. Shiggy is used to this and knows this. The second paragraph tells you all you need to know—the control the girl shows is usually an indicator of a trained intel asset. I mentioned before, getting out of zip ties is a trained technique as well as one of glamour. Glamour, if you remember, is the miracles the Fae can do.

Shiggy latched the girl with silver chains. Silver negates the power of glamour—that’s why Shiggy did it. She suspects the girl has some control over glamour—that makes her dangerous. The silver should negate this power and keep her confined. Notice, the girl is still trying to escape—that shows her determination and that the silver doesn’t have as much power as Shiggy would expect. A Fae being would be in a near catatonic state, at least in a fetal position because of the silver. All this makes the girl very special, and very dangerous in Shiggy’s mind. I think I’ll continue a little on this example.

Perhaps I’ll move over to my science fiction novels. I need to write a new one of them.

The most important thing for the scene is developing the entertainment in the scene.

I’ll write more tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com

www.aegyptnovel.com

http://www.sisteroflight.com

http://www.sisterofdarkness.com

www.centurionnovel.com

www.thesecondmission.com

www.theendofhonor.com

www.thefoxshonor .com

www.aseasonofhonor .com

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